a bleeding heart

name: shin haon
age: 26.
dob: feb 18th.
pob: seoul, south korea.
gender: male.
currently: single.
nationality: korean-american.
languages: korean, english.
zodiac: aquarius.

height: 178cm.
weight: 147lbs.
bodytype: lean/muscular.
eyecolor: light brown.
haircolor&type: dark brown/straight.
birthmarks&scars: two birthmarks along his back, one on the palm of his hand, several beauty marks among his body.
tattoos: two, placement undisclosed.
piercings: none.
clothingstyle&accessories: mostly casual attire, though formal even when he's at home.
mbti personality type: ISFP
alignment: chaotic neutral.
immediate family: mother, father, a sister, a brother.
faceclaim: hansol chwe.

a blood - lustful face.

parenting: a hardworking mother who gave them everything but time; bonding the most with his older sister and acting as a father figure to the family
hobbies: hiking, sports, outdoor activities when the weather is appropriate, reading, listening to old music, watching classic movies
notable features: toned body, sharp nose and high cheekbones, long and dexterous fingers
aesthetic: freshly mowed grass, pristine uniform, well kept and short hair, crisp fall air, cold hands, playlists to every possible mood, black and white movies, keeping movie tickets, midnight talks, head in the clouds, gentle touches along someone's back, secrets shared between friends, good night kisses
personality: easy to get along with anyone regardless of their personalities, quite serious and blunt, but means no harm usually.
upbringing: mostly well-off. when his mother’s career took off, they had no known financial struggles.
enemies: none for now
heroes: his mother
financial status: wealthy, currently stable but keeps himself busy with work
room decor: simple, loves white and black decorations, lofi music in the background & keeping it as dark as possible
collections: books, medicine
infancy: does not remember
childhood: falling a lot, learned how to swim, dance, play soccer, ride a horse, volleyball, helped his brother with his homework, his chores, and confessing to his first crush
adolescence: he goes from chasing balls to chasing girls, pretty smiles and long legs, chasing the impossible guy and the normal student, countless encounters with all kinds of people, a teacher included. he helps at home by raising his younger sister, helps him get her first partner, and also helps pay the mortgage. he goes from chasing love to chasing money
adulthood: + in progress.
main goal: undecided
minor goals/ambitions: work less for more money, set a schedule for his sleep and work out
greatest achievement: graduating with the best GPA in class while missing most of his classes
worst nightmare: his father finding out the situation between him and his brother
sense of humor: sarcasm and wit take the crown, pretty easy to amuse otherwise

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ruby - colored desire

tw: mentions of violence, bullying and alcohol abuse.his mother, a former teacher who opted to retire once money was not a concern and she was confident they would have all they could possibly need, gave birth to him and raised him. he is a beloved planned kid who has given her some new life after the first child fell short of the expectations they had for her. despite their age differences, the two enjoy a deep friendship that compensates for the absence of a third one to help them grow, and a parent. he learns to respect his mother and avoid talking about his father around her. her mother simply steers clear of the subject, telling him it's better that way.
he grows to hate him, despise anything that has ever hurt his mother.
it appears that his mother raised him and his siblings mostly, and that he afterwards helped her with the fatherly figure missing. he spends so much time with his younger sister that he starts to dislike her. living his life by being her bodyguard allows him to protect her from the outside world, not merely to one day despise her. it starts with her bragging about having the world's most innocent brother and how one day she'd be just like him to be the parent of the person who would typically be the one to nurture and take care of him.so he doesn't speak to her after that anymore. he still has another sibling.his professors often comment on what a good influence he is to the other pupils and his own siblings, even though he has already graduated by the time they show up, and he is rough around the edges, battling everyone and questioning everything in silence, with grace. even though it was meant to be a phase, he becomes agitated and upset, and regrettably vents his emotions all at once.
as he gets older, it only gets worse.his mother implores him to remain composed since she won't always be at his side and he'll only have his siblings. but he is unable to control his wrath since it has been bottled up for so long. he has imposed it on others. ones he's bullied, ones he's battled, ones he's taken upon himself in the form of angry yells, and ones he's drowned in an amazing quantity of drink, others in pills.
it's after his highschool graduation that life surprises him and his mother falls ill. it’s a terminal illness and his life seems to come to a halt. the only person in the world he is sure of loving is no longer the formidable person he thought she was and life reminds him of it everyday.he goes from taking care of no one, to the entire family.they travel often and he starts work-hunting, knowing that all of the savings will go to all and any treatment for his mother that keep her a few more days on this earth, until his mother physically can’t anymore, his heart growing heavier every day he's told that his mother deteriorates with each visit to the hospital.
he seems to shut down. it takes him months to decide what he wants to do next, what he should do next. but then he remembers he doesn't have the luxury of time and finally makes amends.
he apologizes. he gets clean, he works, he saves money. he takes care of his mother and siblings that gets more childish every day when they're not the ones with the burden.
it's not enough. his mother assures him that there is no need for him to work. that she has it all under control; he can't stay still.it's a year later after the last diagnosis that it turns into just the three of them. three kids with no father in sight.he doesn't heal well, it's like he doesn't have the time to do it. next thing after the funeral, is taking care of the siblings that are living a life through his work. he endures in honor to his mother.
it becomes stagnant. him growing, aiming for better yet being dragged back by the people he knows he should love. his family. his oh, dear family.

the personality - haon is afraid to let people close, but he doesn't push away. although incredibly cynical about his relationships and friendships, he acknowledges he is the one at fault for keeping everything shy enough of "close". he will do whatever it takes to prevent being seen as weak and vulnerable in any way, even if this means he stays alone. the bits of affection he has go directly to his few friends and the rest of whatever the hell he feels, will go to the rest of the people he's met throughout his years of life.

ruby - colored desire

sideways: when he has time (and energy), he sells medicine and drugs he can steal from his work. this is done solely by referal and his clientele is pretty small nowadays -mostly regulars that he's been working with for years, students that seem too reliant on medicine-.
the upbringing of this side hustle isn't too dramatic nor tormenting. haon has been commissioning this job for two years and most of his clients are regular "clients", or friends.
this part of him is something he keeps private albeit a grand part of his life and income, he does not divulge this information to anyone or when asked.overview: his standards as to who can buy from him are non existent so his clients consists mostly of friends that know he can get good money from, though it's been changing throughout the years.
it takes him a lot of time to accept a new client, so it's extremely hard for him to give away what he does.

headcanons

eyes expectant and demanding

ooc notes.
pronouns: she/they. over the age of 18+. not interested in romantic plots for now.tl;dr: haon is a very small drug dealer and has been for some time now. not only does he do it for money but for the rush it gives when he steals from his job. he doesn't do too many drugs nor needs any sort of medication so it's easy for him to lure someone without guilt since he isn't fully aware of how difficult and terrible it is: thus, that's what i'm looking forward to write. this idiot understanding how fucked up it is what he's doing and that no matter how much money it makes for him, it's never the only way he can bring money to the table.i prefer plotting rather than first encounters but, if you feel haon can fill up a spot you want for your muse's connections, let me know.

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